Witchcraft, the Modern Woman & Chronic Pain: Living with CRPS, Healing the Nervous System, & Finding Magic Again

Chronic pain may rewrite your life — but it doesn’t get to write the ending.

Chronic pain can steal your body, your identity, and your sense of normal — but it cannot take your magic unless you let it.

One beautiful day several years ago, I decided to go into work on my day off and do inventory.

Little did I know that years of carrying trauma would catch up to me in an instant in a walk-in freezer.

I popped my ulnar nerve out of tract… and thus began my journey with chronic pain.

Within nine days, I couldn't lift a glass to drink from it.

Within a month I was completely out of work.

My injury created a complete misfiring of my nervous system, and I was eventually diagnosed with Complex Regional Pain Syndrome — CRPS for short.

I usually just call it “Crap.”

Because sometimes dark humor is the only thing that gets you through living with severe chronic pain.

Within nine days I could barely use my arm.

Within months my life had completely changed.

Every day seemed more painful than the last.

And like many people who suddenly find themselves living with chronic illness, I had no idea what was happening to my body or what my future would look like.

What is CRPS?

Complex Regional Pain Syndrome (CRPS) is a progressive neurological disorder that affects the nervous system and causes extreme chronic pain.

Light touch — even a sheet brushing against my skin — could send my body into agony

Water from a shower.

A slight change in temperature.

Even rain.

All would create intense agony and pain within my body.

According to the McGill Pain Scale, CRPS is considered one of the most painful conditions known to modern medicine.

And there is currently no cure.

For the first three years after my diagnosis, I rarely left the house except for doctor appointments.

My body would lock up unpredictably.

Pain controlled everything.

Living with chronic illness changes your entire life.

Your routines change.

Your body becomes unpredictable.

And the person you used to be can feel very far away.

When Chronic Pain Takes Over Your Life

Within five years the condition rapidly spread throughout my body.

It began affecting:

• my carotid artery

• one leg

• the upper portion of my other arm

• and doctors suspected it had begun impacting my kidneys and digestive system.

There is more.

So much more.

I was a mess.

My body was in pain.

And it felt like it was dying.

For over a decade I lived with severe chronic pain and physical disability.

I tried nearly everything modern medicine had to offer:

• Six stellate ganglion nerve blocks.

• Four spinal cord stimulator implant surgeries.

• A nerve stimulator implanted in my arm.

• Nerve conduction tests.

• TENS units.

• Physical therapy.

• Endless combinations of medications that honestly should have killed me.

• And ketamine infusions.

The Invisible Grief of Chronic Illness

One of the hardest parts of living with chronic pain isn’t always the pain itself.

It’s the quiet grief.

The grief of the life you thought you were going to have.

The grief of the body you used to live in.

The grief of plans that suddenly become impossible.

When you develop a chronic illness like CRPS, people often focus on the physical symptoms. The nerve damage. The treatments. The medications.

But what many people don’t see is the emotional landscape that comes with it.

You grieve the simple things.

• Running errands without calculating how much energy it will cost.

• Making plans without wondering if your body will betray you that day.

• Being spontaneous.

• Being independent.

There is also a strange kind of loneliness that can come with chronic illness.

Because even the people who love you deeply may never fully understand what it feels like to live inside your body.

Some days you may look fine on the outside while fighting a war inside your nervous system.

And that disconnect can make you feel invisible.

But if you are living with chronic pain, I want you to know something.

Your experience is real.

Your exhaustion is real.

Your frustration is real.

And the strength it takes to keep living, loving, and showing up in the world inside a body that hurts every day is something most people will never truly comprehend.

But those of us who walk this path together understand.

And sometimes simply knowing that you are not alone in that experience can be its own kind of medicine.

The Moment Something Changed

It was the ketamine infusions that helped reignite something inside me.

After one treatment I was wheeled outside to the car.

It was raining.

I was getting wet.

And I kept repeating:

"It's raining… it's raining… I'm getting wet."

The aide kept apologizing.

My partner was trying to hurry.

But I had to explain.

It was raining.

And for the first time in years…

Rain didn't feel like razor blades slicing my skin.

That moment cracked open a door.

Did ketamine treatments help open the door to remission?

Absolutely.

But they were only part of the story.

Because along the way I also discovered something unexpected.

A little bit of magic.

Changing the Narrative When Living With Chronic Pain

Before I continue, I want to say something clearly.

I am not a doctor.

I am simply a patient sharing personal experiences and the tools that helped me most.

Healing journeys look different for everyone.

But sometimes hearing someone else's story helps us feel less alone.

Celebrate the Small Wins

This may have simply been stubbornness.

But after surviving unimaginable pain for years, I refused to label it a 10 out of 10.

Because if I admitted it was the worst possible pain…

Then it felt like I had let it defeat me.

And I refused to surrender like that.

Which meant I had to climb out of the darkest grave of depression.

I had to stop focusing on everything I could no longer do.

And start noticing what I could still do.

I couldn't shower in the morning anymore.

It took too much energy.

But I could manage showers at night.

They were still painful — but they were possible.

I didn't always have the spoons to do laundry.

But I saved my energy to laugh with my children.

The small wins.

Celebrate the small wins.

Because when you are living with chronic illness, those moments are not small at all.

They are everything.

Chronic Pain and the Nervous System

One thing many people don't realize about chronic pain conditions like CRPS is that they are deeply connected to the nervous system.

When the nervous system is injured or overwhelmed, it can become stuck in survival mode.

The brain keeps sending danger signals to the body, even when no new injury is happening.

Pain becomes a loop.

Many people living with chronic illness also carry deep emotional trauma, stress, or years of pushing through difficult life experiences.

The body keeps score.

Eventually the nervous system says:

"Enough."

Part of my healing journey involved learning how to help my nervous system feel safe again.

And this is where spiritual and energetic practices began helping me in ways I never expected.

Change Your Inner Dialogue

Pain is real.

Suffering is real.

Your emotions about it are completely valid.

But I began noticing something about the words I was saying to myself.

Every time I spiraled, I kept repeating:

"I am hurting."

So I started experimenting with changing the narrative.

Instead I began saying:

"I am healing."

Words carry energy.

In many ways, the language we use becomes the spells we cast over our lives.

The Sacred Tool Kit

Alongside medical treatment, I began exploring spiritual practices that helped support my healing.

Some helped calm my nervous system.

Some helped release stored trauma.

Some helped reconnect me to hope.

These became part of my Sacred Tool Kit.

Reiki

Reiki is an energy healing practice that works with the body's energetic system.

For people living with chronic pain, Reiki can help calm the nervous system and create moments of deep relaxation.

When the nervous system has been stuck in survival mode for years, even small moments of calm can be incredibly healing.

Positive Affirmations

Affirmations help retrain the brain's patterns of thought.

Living with chronic illness can easily trap us in cycles of fear and frustration.

Affirmations helped me begin shifting those patterns.

Examples include:

• I am healing.

• My body is learning safety again.

• Peace is possible inside me.

Grabavoi Codes

Grabavoi Codes are number sequences believed by some practitioners to carry energetic frequencies connected to healing or manifestation.

Some people meditate on them, write them on their body or into thin air, or repeat them during prayer or meditation.

For many people, they become a focus point for intention and healing energy.

Ancestral Mapping

Sometimes the pain we carry isn't only physical.

Exploring family patterns and generational trauma helped me uncover emotional wounds passed down through family lines.

Healing those patterns can release powerful emotional weight.

Past Life Regression

Past Life Regression explores memories or emotional imprints that may exist beyond this lifetime.

Whether you see it as spiritual exploration or deep subconscious work, the insights gained can be powerful and healing.

Shamanic Healing

Shamanic practices work with spiritual energy to restore balance between body, mind, and spirit.

Practices may include guided journeys, working with spirit allies, or releasing energetic blocks.

These practices helped me reconnect with my inner strength.

Essential Oils

Essential oils became a gentle way to support both emotional and physical healing.

Oils such as lavender, frankincense, rosemary, and peppermint can help calm the nervous system and support relaxation.

Even simple rituals of self-anointing became moments of grounding and care.

“Fake It Til You Make It”

(Or what I prefer to call — Practice Makes Perfect)

Healing is rarely instant.

Sometimes healing is simply practicing hope long enough that your body begins to believe it.

Practicing joy.

Practicing gratitude.

Practicing movement.

Practicing life again.

And eventually something changes.

One day you realize…

You are not pretending anymore.

You are living again.

A Final Thought

If you are living with chronic pain, chronic illness, or invisible disability…

Please hear this.

Your life is not over.

Healing may not look like what you imagined.

It may involve medicine.

Mindset.

Spirituality.

Resilience.

And sometimes a little bit of magic.

But healing is still possible.

If I could climb out of that abyss of pain and darkness…

Then there is hope for you too.

And sometimes that hope begins with something as simple as noticing that rain no longer feels like razor blades.

If you are walking a similar path, I want you to remember something important.

You are not weak.

You are not broken.

You are someone learning to navigate life inside a body that has been through more than most people will ever understand.

And that kind of strength…

Is its own form of magic.

If You Feel Called to Go Deeper

Healing is rarely a straight line.

It is messy.

It is frustrating.

Sometimes it is beautiful in ways we never expected.

And sometimes, the most powerful thing we can do is simply allow ourselves to seek support along the way.

If something in this story resonated with you — if you are navigating chronic pain, emotional wounds, spiritual awakening, or simply searching for a way to reconnect with yourself — you may feel called to explore your healing journey a little more deeply.

Through Healing With Humor, I offer spiritual support services designed to help people reconnect with their inner strength and wisdom.

These include:

• Intuitive Tarot & Oracle Readings – offering perspective and guidance during times of uncertainty

• Reiki Energy Healing – helping calm the nervous system and restore energetic balance

• Drakaina Drops Ritual Oils – custom-crafted oils created with intention to support personal transformation

• Shadow Work Guidance – gentle exploration of hidden patterns and emotional healing

• Mediumship Sessions – providing a compassionate space for connection with loved ones in spirit

These offerings are not meant to replace medical or mental health care. Instead, they are meant to support the deeper layers of healing that many of us discover along our path.

If you feel curious or called to explore further, you can learn more about these services at:

healingwithhumor.online